Why must I still love you?
It’s been years, maybe I am weak
Because of you.
My heart cannot find it
It cannot hate you
And in turn I hate you
.
I once told you that we would be everlasting
But you didn’t agree, and that’s fine.
But what isn’t is having to tell my soul
That they don’t want it all. That they don’t love you like you love them.
I see you in my dreams, it’s the only time
I can get close to you without you being mean
And you haven’t talked to me in years…
Why am I fucked up like this? Why must I torture myself?
what did you learn this year ?
Mary Oliver (from In Blackwater Woods)
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